Have you ever found yourself wanting to 'fix'
people? You know... when you
can clearly see everything that's wrong with them and want to reorganize
them and their life?
It seems so easy for us to look at someone else and see everything that
they need to do to improve themselves. It seems so easy to 'fix' someone
else... to see everything they could change in their personality,
relationships, attitudes, patterns, and lives in general.
When you find yourself doing that, you can be sure that if you turned that
projection around and applied it to yourself you would discover many
truths and have some astonishing revelations.
For example, the other day I found myself in various situations in which
the old 'beast' of judgment reared its ugly head. Seemed like I could do
so much better... Yet when I applied the technique of taking whatever I
was criticizing in someone else and applying it to myself, I discovered
some amazing things... I also was 'guilty' of those same things I was
judging in others.
If you desire to see where you need to do some clearing, try this... The
next time you find yourself blaming, judging, or criticizing someone, ask
yourself: "How do I exhibit this behavior also? How does this apply to my
actions and thoughts?" I would be willing to bet that if you are honest
with yourself you'll discover some amazing truths... or rather I should
say, some amazing illusions.
Someone dropped in the other day who was exhibiting strong behavior of
blame and other such energies. So I knew that if this was coming out in my
presence, then obviously I needed to look within myself to see how I was
harboring thoughts of blame. And sure enough, those thoughts were there...
If people around you are acting out anger, look within yourself and find
out what you are angry about. If you find yourself in conversations where
the 'other' is judging and criticizing, ask yourself how you are being
judgmental and critical. It could be behavior that you are directing
towards others or towards yourself. Have you been judging yourself? Have
you been finding yourself wanting in certain areas?
Remember that the 'other' is always a reflection of you. So rather than
expend energy trying to 'fix' the other, use that energy where it can
really make a difference... 'fix' yourself. Look at yourself and see what
A saying that I really like from Peace Pilgrim is "If the thoughts you are
thinking have not brought you peace, keep trying..."
Many times our past behavior has tended towards judging and blaming, when
those energies definitely do not bring peace. How do you feel when you are
in the middle of those energies? Definitely not peaceful and loving,
Not only is judging and blaming harmful to yourself, to your inner peace
and joy, but it is futile... unless you turn it around and apply it to
yourself! When you use it as a learning tool, then you can really make a
difference -- in yourself.
The next time you find yourself judging or blaming someone else, remember
to ask your Higher Self to show you how you are really judging and blaming
yourself. And please forgive yourself for all of these old patterns. This
was simply learned behavior, and it can be replaced with a more useful and
When you find yourself in any situation that seems to call up unloving
responses in you, remember that you have a choice. You can make yourself
miserable by staying in the judgment and blame, or you can release the
other person to Spirit. Everyone has the right to make their own 'mistakes
' and to learn in the way they choose. Rather than place your focus on
them, place it on yourself. Everything that comes to you is an opportunity
for love and healing. Everything is there to help us regain our inner
peace and innate state of love and harmony.
Make it a daily practice. Look around you (and within you) and see what
situations have been bringing up thoughts unlike Love. Then use those
situations as mirrors. Look at them and see... This is especially powerful
in those situations where we find ourselves reacting strongly to someone
or to a situation. If it's pushing your buttons, then you can be sure
there is something you need to look at. As a wise friend of mine said, "If
you didn't have any buttons, I wouldn't be able to push them!" So the next
time someone pushes your button, get rid of the button... instead of
blaming the button pusher.
by Marie T. Russell
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